wanderings, expositions, and place

Lessons Learned

WordPress app doesn’t post large images from mobile that well at all….


Through the back yard


Walked through the backyard today, fiddling with my nee phone’s camera and basking in the wonderful weather that’d somehow turned up this afternoon. I always like wandering out through our property, nosing around the cedars, finding the long views to neighbor’s lands, and just staring at the sky.


It’s the area right around the house that frustrates me the most, where there’s potential but we’ve always just done piecemeal things, and I don’t know exactly what to do to make it “better”. Except through grand imaginations that will never happen, if for only that I never think them through enough to make something concrete (that and I hate doing things a little at a time). All this land can just drive me insane.


It’s done that thing

There’s just been a big gullywasher that passed over our house and the hillocks around it. Looming grey and dark and rolling across the sky while white wisps of cloud precede it, heralding it’s break across the land. Even from afar it was a wall, becoming all of my view as I drove home. And as I came closer towards it, I could not wait for the ecstasy of rain. The way that, even inside the house, you are still in the rain because of the roar upon our tin roof. Instead of a home that stretches outward towards the horizon to embrace a landscape, it is always as if the roof became one with the cloud.

Afterwards, the rain’s done that thing: left its trace by seemingly remaking the world into Oz. Or at least into the polychrome of sunset-after-rain; is there a word for the color of the world after rain like there is petrichor, for the smell of the earth after a rain? It almost feels as if it would be wrong to open the door, as if to shatter an illusion, as impossible as the thought of stepping into a painting. And so I just stood and watched from the windows, marveling at the hidden colors uncovered.

Return to Spicy

The adjustment of coming back from Italy actually hasn’t been too rough so far. No in-your-face instances of overt culture shock, no sudden disgust at something I didn’t remember about Texas. It seems that my hypothesis, that having already had to adjust to moving to Oregon for school helped prepare me for the culture shock of study abroad, is holding true to a large degree. Most of the “shock”/frustration I’m dealing with isn’t unique to coming back from Italy, but just something I deal with coming home every summer. 

Things like “oh, we live in the middle of nowhere so it’s actually an effort to go to the store”, or “oh, right there’s barely an acceptable level of internet, let alone you actually want to download media of any kind! (HA!)” And the restlessness that comes from sitting around the house all day, trying to do something while ignoring the layers upon layers of stuff I’ve accumulated over the years. Which lead to ungodly amounts of time taken up driving whenever one wants to reach civilization. Or general Texas things such as the relatively conservative sense of the culture when one’s not in the cities, etc. 

What has changed on my return though, is I’ve come to crave spicy food. All the time. And have had an accompanying awakening regarding Tex-Mex/Mexican food of various kinds. Used to be that the range of what I’d consume lied within the area of, say, burritos, quesadillas, simple tacos, chimichangas. Relatively white-bread-ified versions of Mexican/Tex-Mex foods. Now, I’ve started eating things with more spice and a little less white-bread-ness (if only a little more). Mole con pollo, migas (MIGAS! Can’t believe I’d never had Migas before, say, a year ago! Especially with my love of all things breakfast), tacos al pastor. Need to expand a little more than that too, into spicier things…. Should find out where there’s some good dive-y Mexican near my house..

I think some of this dive towards spicier foods is a 180 after the months in Italy, where they don’t really make things spicy. Creamy, rich, meaty, flavored with various herbs, yes. Spicy peppers, no. I used to hate jalapenos, for the weird fruity flavor they can have, now I love them because of how nice it is to have some heat in my food. Mmm. It could be hard to go back to Oregon and keep this up. I guess I’ll just have to look a little harder than I have before for good, spicy Mexican food.


That point where, being back home, among the layers of stuff and things and detritus of my life, having a weird room that’s just-a-bit-big and not the right shape, along with several other instances and annoyances, have become a little too much to handle. I want to “do” something, or “fix” something, and cannot for the life of me understand where I should begin. And I’m not good at getting rid of things. Probably part of the reason that I like to be in Eugene, less years for objects to pile up around me.